I must be too annoying 4 u.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
