OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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