he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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