My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
My liver is preforming stress tests.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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