i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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