Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
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I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
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If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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