I love black thongs
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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