Have you finally orgasmed yet?
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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