Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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