My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
