Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
nutella sex= disaster
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
