am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
My pussy is not your playground.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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