:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
