If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
