So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
