Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
