Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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