so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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