I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Quick, to the slutcave!
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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