If that was your dad, he is hot
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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