"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
