she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
