All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
