he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize