trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
