I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
