I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
