So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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