At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize