do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
