biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
