I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
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