He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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