I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
