i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
