I hope mine doesn't look like that
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
