I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize