I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
