Soap is not a condiment
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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