If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Can Purell be used as lube?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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