I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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