At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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