It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
