Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Randomize
