it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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