I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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