I'm drive I can fine osifer
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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