I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize