spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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