Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize