She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
