used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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