So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Drunk walkin through police station. America
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
