I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
