the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
