We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize