We're facebook friends in real life
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Randomize
