it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
