Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
