Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
