I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
