She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
